IT'S NEVER HER "FAULT"

Leaders, while dancing with your partner at a milonga or class, and something goes wrong, never turn to your partner and start a sentence that begins with: “You were supposed to” or “you should have...”

Also, never turn to your teacher and start with the words: “well, my partner was supposed to” or “my partner should have...”

Even if you’re absolutely certain that you’re right and your partner’s wrong, don’t say those words. Just don’t. If you're new to tango, this is basic etiquette. But sometimes, even experienced folks forget.

At a milonga, if your partner doesn’t know what you’re trying to lead (even if you’re sure you led it correctly), then quit trying to lead it. Drop it and go back to something you can both agree on, like walking.

At a class or workshop, when the teacher notices that you’re having trouble and asks why, figure out what you can be doing to improve yourself. There’s always something about your own leading that can be better, even if (you think) you’re already a good dancer.

As for your partners, trust them to be responsible for their own improvement. Or agree to work together during a práctica. Or take it outside and settle things at high noon.

Pointing out what your partner’s doing wrong all the time just makes you look like an a**hole. Then, your partner’s friends might start thinking you’re an a**hole, too. And pretty soon you may find that everyone suddenly looks away from your cabaceo. No one takes the time to get all dressed up for a milonga hoping to hear unsolicited advice. Remember: being fun to dance with is much better than being right.